Birds of a Feather Flock... Towards Your Face?!

My dog is a picky pooper. Yea, thats right- Im going there.

Molly is very particular about where she does her business, it is in one of two particular corners outside my front door in the yard. My apartment is right next to a small grassy field which makes taking her out a very small chore--provided she does it quickly, of course. If not, it makes for a very long morning.

Why am I posting about my dogs bathroom habits you ask? I swear. I have a point.

There seems to be a birds nest issue. When I say issue- I mean a small annoyance that has become a massive inconvenience. Naturally, this nest happens to be directly above Molly's favorite "spot"--The first time it happened, it was dark outside and I was alone walking Molly around 11 PM. Now, being a girl that lives alone, Ill admit my imagination tends to run a little wild at times. I hear funny noises and I see masked murderers lurking in my bedroom doorway that in reality, are simple shadows. So you can imagine what my heart did when Im out all alone and I hear a sudden wind and flapping behind my back. I could have sworn someone was there, but of course when I whipped myself around and saw nothing I only felt crazy. The next day, the same thing happened but because it was daylight I could see the culprit- a bird! I swear this thing has made a hobby out of dive bombing my head!

As the days wore on, I got to thinking- what could I possibly be doing to alert this bird and make him seek me out? Does he really not want Molly using the bathroom in "his" corner- since when is he boss of said corner? After lots of brainstorming and much avoidance of that particular area in the yard, I finally thought- maybe he is protecting something? Duh. I looked around yesterday and finally found it- a nest! I found what I presume to be either his wife, baby mama or mistress, sitting atop a nest- not moving an inch. I guess its his job to act as the alarm system and attack anything within 7,000 yards?

Normally, Id let something like this go- deeming it ultimately unworthy of blogging about but today... today Mr. Bird went TOO far.

I went home for lunch and as always started to heat up my meal, did some stuff around the apartment and got Molly on her leash to take her out for a much needed bathroom break. I swear on my life (and yours) that the second I stepped foot outside my door, I could hear that bastard chirping "DANGER, DANGER- PEGGY GUARD THE LITTLE ONES" Yea, so what if I named them?! Not only did he follow me AND Molly every step we took, but he went as far as to follow us both all the way to the dumpster out in the parking lot and then literally flew behind me all the way back to my front door. I kid you not when I say that my neighbors must have had quite a show with me running for my life screaming "get the hell away from me, I wont harm your babies!!!!!!!!!!!"

Who knew they could be so mean?! Not me! Needless to say, its time for the babies to be born and promptly be sent off to fling school. They are officially cramping my style. And Molly's.