Whiney Wednesday- Consider Yourself Warned

So I may or may not have had a meltdown last night.

Around dinner time I threw myself a little pity party- I cried and felt sorry for myself. What Im most ashamed of is that I yelled at my mom. After everything she has done for me, after all the meals shes made, all the dishes shes washed and all the yard work shes done for us.

Everyone has been super supportive. Ive gotten so many sweet comments, my friends have sent me emails and cards and one friend even made me enough food to feed an army. Dereks mom made my favorite soup and a pie that she knew Id fall madly in love with (anything that combines peanut butter and chocolate wins in my book) and Derek himself has been the most amazing helper.

Im not trying to make excuses for my meltdown- as you can see from the list above, I have to many reasons to be grateful and thankful but Im so tired of not having my independence. Im tired of not being able to get in my car and go anywhere I want. Im tired of having to be waited on. Im tired of thinking I can do something myself only to find my knee isn’t as strong as Id hoped and it hurts to hobble to and from the kitchen. Im tired of being so hard on my dogs when all they want to do is lay on my lap- they don’t know why they cant or understand that Im hurting under my ice pack. Im tired of looking out the window and not being able to feel the weather- warm, cold, windy or snowy. Im tired of not being able to walk the dogs to the mailbox. Im out of movies and Netflix seems to be moving at a snails pace this week. I miss my friends and wish they would come over to see me. Im lonely.

Im sorry- I had to say all of that. I had to complain and act like a brat. I had to get it off my chest and now I promise Ill be more positive- from this post onward. Swear it.

Youd think all this time home and off of work would be fun but its sort of turning into torture. What on earth do you all do to stay entertained when youre home?! Any ideas? My aunt joked I should take up knitting but that didn’t really get me too excited. I did start watching Six Feet Under so that will keep me occupied for a while… but then what? HELP!