FIRE!!!

I always knew I was a mediocre cook... but today tops all of my past cooking misadventures.

I wanted a snack while I made my lunch so I popped some questionable looking popcorn (questionable meaning, possibly ancient)... well when that burned to a crisp I thought it would have been too many calories on top of lunch anyway. What I didnt think of is that maybe I should have just stopped there.

I decided to make one of my favorite meals, tuna helper. Sure, most people think its disgusting and lame. This is precisely why I decided to make it sans Derek- he loathes tuna fish. I myself love anything tuna. Tuna helper? Especially.

I got all of my ingredients in the sauce pan and waited for the combination to start bubbling. Much to my dismay, it didnt. And didnt. And didnt.

Before I knew it, flames were pouring out from under the saucepan. I immediately started to panic and tried to remember everything I knew about fire. Stop drop and roll. Oxygen feeds fire, dont fan it with a cloth, etc etc etc. I grabbed the fire extinguisher from under my kitchen sink (bless you apartment gods for requiring those... ) and then all of a sudden I realized the worst part- I DONT KNOW HOW TO USE THE DAMN THING. I remembered something about pulling out a pin but of course, didnt seem to have the strength (arent we supposed to be superheros when panic sets in?! Move a thousand pounds or something?).

The longer I stood there, the less the flames were dancing around and before I could call someone official or just plain jump from my balcony, the fire went out.

My apartment now stinks to high heaven and I think Ill never eat anything but cold cereal again.

Woe is me. I need a drink.