Im a Toys R Us Kid

Does anyone else out there have a hard time coming to terms with "growing up"? Am I alone in struggling to make the "right" choices? I ask all of you so that I might not feel alone with these growing pains, with my heels in the ground- wanting to revert back to living under someone else's roof while they pay the bills...
Its funny how we want to grow up our whole lives, we want our curfews abolished, we want more freedom, more money, less rules, we want to vote and make our own paths...and then when we get to what seems to be the patch of greener grass, were still not happy. I am in one of those moods lately that proverbially speaking, Im stomping my feet on the ground and flailing my arms around wondering if Ive made the right choices for my life. "Life's not fair"--I can hear all of you groaning it and rolling your eyes. Weve all got our problems, I know. But this is my blog, and therefore, I get to vent ;)

Most of my recent temper tantrum stems from my chosen career path. I got out of school and accepted a job offer before I had even completed my move back to Austin. It paid well and at the time, I felt that I needed a job in order to feel like going to college was worth it. No, Im not reffering to the parties and fun (thats ALWAYS worth it). A paycheck every two weeks? Sign me up! It didnt matter that I saw it as something I may or may not be good at, or something I may not even enjoy, I needed a job and someone was offering me one. I quickly became accustomed to the pay, to the perks and to the small company where you knew who to go to to get what you wanted or needed. I was spoiled rotten. Here is the catch- I was miserable. I hated my job and after the first few full months of working there, I had outgrown my title and my duties, my company was at a standstill and I had hit the glass ceiling. I was on a team with several people my own age so we had fun and we made it work. But after about a year I came to a crossroad in my life and had to make a tough and final decision- money or happiness? Seems easy enough.

I took my current job (at ACS) in March of 2007 and I was elated to do something that I truly loved from the very start. I help people, I talk to them, give them advice, and feel like I have really done something good at the end of every day. I hear how people are struggling emotionally, financially and physically and it not only helps me to be grateful for what I have in my life, but it helps me to realize that there is so much more to life than the material things. Some people dont even have their health, or a support network to help them through the rough times. Ill admit, come pay day, its sometimes...okay... often...hard to see the silver lining. Its hard to not feel the squeeze at the end of the month when all the bills have been paid, the wedding gifts have been purchased, the mouths have been fed, and gas has been put in the car... but its a trade off I am willing to make.

I find that there is never enough money, no matter how wonderfully I budget. I find that Ill never have the newest or trendiest clothes, I will never drive the nicest car, Ill never have the best shoes nor will I live in the most fabulous homes money can buy. What I do have is all of you. I have the most wonderful, loving, kind and caring network of people a girl could ask for.

So the moral of the story is, next time you feel like throwing a little fit, think about all the good things you have in your life and count your blessings. Its so easy to forget, but also so very very important to remember.